Percocet is the answer
May 27, 2011
This is a non-technical rant. You’ve been warned.
I was injured in a softball game on Wednesday night. It’s kinda of embarrassing how it happened. The guy batting before me hit an opposite field laser that exposed a shitty right-fielder that the other team had. I tried the same and when I hit the ball, I immediately felt pain on my left side. It felt like I pulled something.
I kept playing and in my next at-bat, the real pain started. I hit the ball and dropped to the ground in pain. I knew something was messed up…
I went to urgent care the next day and they started by taking upper chest x-rays. I told them, you are wasting your time. I have no chest pain, no lung pain, the pain I have is on my lower left side. Look there.
##Dumb ass…
Is probably what they thought because they insisted on the x-ray. Later on, when I got to see the doctor, he justified his decision by saying that sometimes in sports, players can separate a lung from the {blah blah}. I said to the doctor that I’d imagine the pain that would cause would be immense and it would hurt just to breath. He agreed. I said, I don’t have that problem. My side hurts. It’s like a {pain in the ass}, but its on my side.
He then went through the process of elimination of what my injury wasn’t until he finally told me what I had done. He then went right into pain killers. Asking how I felt about them. I said that I hadn’t taken pain killers since I broke my foot in the same place for a second time, but only for a day or two (That was back in ‘02 I think). My preference was just Aleve for inflammation and Advil or Tylenol for the pain. I just wanted to know what happened.
##Dumb ass…
Is probably what he thought because he shook his head at me and said I’m giving you Percocet for the pain and Naproxen to help with the inflammation. He then went into a spiel about why I needed these drugs and how each was going to help.
##I see what you did there
He just prescribed me Tylenol and Aleve; prescription versions that are just slightly stronger than what you can buy over the counter. Why? I just speculate and say that is standard operating procedures to get dumb-asses to pay you.
##Dumb ass…
I filled the prescriptions. While doing so I had an epiphany… I am a dumb ass. I’m filling these prescriptions. They knew I was a dumb ass. They got me.